Intimate Carnivores

That's the name of the documentary I just watched on Central at 11pm. It was a gory show on cannibalism within the animal family.

Classic examples include:
The seagull - Jealous mother seagulls sneak to others' nests and destroy their eggs. They don't even let the newborn fluffy chicks off! They just swallow them whole - feathers, beaks and claws. I wonder is that pure jealousy or pure hunger.
The squirrel - Same. But their mouths are too small to swallow the newborns of other squirrels whole. So they just shred them alive with their little teeth.
The mouse - Same as hamsters, but who knows newborn mice would have so much blood in them!
The eagle - Usually sibling rivalry reduces a nest of three newborn eagles to one. The first one dies of starvation within a few days, when it loses out to its siblings in the fight of food brought back by the mother. A few months later, one of the remaining two dies for the same reason. The only surviving young eagle promptly disposes off the carcass by EATING it.
The (don't know what) fish - The female fish lays its eggs on the coral bed and the male fish takes over to fertilize them and guards the nest. While the eggs hatch, the father fish fends off naughty fishes who try to feast on the embryos. However, sometimes when the crowd of naughty fishes gets too frantic for the tired father to handle, it conveniently joins in the cannibalistic feast along with them. But I got to admit fish roe (on sushi) tastes good.
The tiger shark - Do you know that a female tiger shark can have 30 fertilised embryos in its womb, yet it only gives birth to one or two shark pups in the end? Where did the remaining potential shark pups go to? A puzzled researcher decided to unravel the msytery by catching a pregnant female shark and sadistically cutting open its womb to OBSERVE. A highly-advanced camera inserted into the fresh womb revealed a mushy white liquid with floating blood veins and egg yolks. A baby shark with beady eyes was swimming happily through the mess and gobbling the egg yolks. There were three or four developed shark babies too but apparently they had died. Wow, shark pups sure have a nutritious meal of eggs and fish even before being born!
The chimpanzee - This is the worst. Even the researcher finds it disturbing. The male chimpanzee can all of a sudden snatch a baby chimp from its surprised mother, throw it around to his fellows, and finally tear it apart and relax in one corner munching on the little fingers. This is not right. The researcher cited the reason as that the father chimp suspecting the baby chimp is not his legitimate child, so jolly well just eat it up. But still, that's not right!

As the saying goes, only the fittest survives. Leaves much room for thought.

My Parents are Sweet but Annoying Folks

Case Study 1:

Daddy was so concerned with me using the B&L Renu contact lens solution that he threw the whole bottle (90% full!) away without my knowledge! I know he doesn't want algae lining my eyes, but wah lau, a bottle of that solution is freaking expensive!

Case Study 2:

First Uncle was stalked by two BLACK society people last night while he was returning home from the carpark. Apparently they were sitting under the void deck and when they saw him, they got up and started following him. First Uncle got scared and walked quickly until he got to the staircase landing and climbed all the way home.

Mummy was so freaked out that she kept nagging me not to return home late at night because it is DANGEROUS to walk alone. (First Uncle lives in the same block as me) My neighbourhood (particularly my block) has experienced a spate of robberies and thefts recently, ranging from house-robbery (the unfortunate auntie on the 6th floor), to thefts (every joss stick urn hanging along the corridors in my block was stolen), to daylight robbery (it even made it to the papers, poor Thai woman). My eyebrows are pointing towards the BLACK society and I have a lot to say about that, but I am going to censor myself here before I revive the Internal Security Act again.

I hope somebody does something about this, because Mum is driving me crazy with her sensationalised stories. I especially loathe (and sometimes love) the part where she will exclaim "如果你搭电梯的时候，他们突然冲进去，电梯的门一关，你就跑不了了!" Now I probably have to equip myself with a Swiss army knife whenever I go home after clubbing, and I will aim straight for their puny (BLACK) throats. Nobody is going to take my money away from me!

Fun with FYP

Went back to school to discuss FYP with my group-mates and our supervisor, and later we continued discussion at the Pizza Place at JP. I had an enjoyable time snacking on powdered cheese. Jas and I disgusted Bin and Simin with our "acquired taste" of powdered cheese while Bin and Simin disgusted Jas and I with their "acquired taste" of black olives. Ugh.

Then Bin and I went to Bugis for shopping. Bin bought a lovely navel stud with amethyst crystals. I didn't buy anything except for a pair of m)phosis slippers (which is my staple), because I have been spending a lot lately, especially on food. Sigh ~ Went to the temple nearby to pray too.

Yay! Scary Movie 4 is coming out! Check out these posters (the Saw-imitation really cracked me up):


The movie tagline "Bury the grudge. Burn the village. See the saw." is equally funny (if you know which movies it is talking about). It is still more than a freaking month away, but Ah Sir and Wee, let's watch together!

Fun at KJSS

Went to Kranji Secondary School this morning, which was our last stop of our FYP educational tour. We arrived late, but we managed to tap into the upper secondary students' recess break.

The students diligently filling out the quiz forms

The students were a cute bunch, who were very supportive of our booth and crowded around to see what we were doing. There was this cute guy who told me he was planning to run away from home. I quickly shoved SAC's brochure (with its helpline) into his hands and threatened him better not to do that. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of the educational video and saw the runaway Ah Lian in it and asked "Hey, is that you!" I bluffed him saying "Oh, that's my sister." and he exclaimed in surprise "COOL! You have a twin sister! Wah, look very alike hor!" Keke.

This was the boy who thought I have a twin sister

Then there was another cute guy who told me that his friend (cum classmate) Gary (his real name) had run away from home after spiriting his mother's three thousand dollars, and when I asked him why he did not persuade him to go home, he said that he did not even know where he is now. It is saddening to know that but there is really nothing I can do (for now).

We had lunch at their canteen and I had to make do with their paltry portions. Then we went to collect the display cases, and Bin and I realised the display case at West Mall had been disturbed! Heck. When we got back to SAC, Simin made us watch Nivea and Creative adverts umpteen times. I think tonight I am going to see many Zen mp3 players in my sleep.

Watching over and over again ...

Cam whoring again

SAC Open House!

Finally, after all those preparations and late night flyer distribution, today was our FYP event for the SAC! Named 'When Home Becomes the Last Place You Want to Be', it was a small open house that we planned for SAC.

The new Student Advisory Centre at Clementi!

It all started with me and Bin and nice Mr. Yap making our way to Ubi to collect the bazaar tables and chairs. It was a memorable morning of us being three mad menial workers having to carry heavy stuff and break out into sweat. I wasn't even done doing the shit work when the irritating bazaar stallholders started to mob me with their demands and questions. So the whole morning was basically running here and there to attend to different people, it was freaking busy.
Finally after the bazaar stallholders were more or less settled down, things were less rushed for me. So on went the educational tour, talks, video screening, and the interacting.

An enraptured audience watching the educational video (heng cannot see my Ah Lian role in it)

Our FYP supervisor dropped by for a visit and we were glad that she appreciated our event. Bin was a joke to fall in front of an astonished her, to which she gasped "Get up! Get up!"

I was given the honourable task of welcoming the MP, Mr. Arthur Fong to officiate the re-opening ceremony of SAC. After helping to spray out the SAC new logo to mark the opening, the performances started. It started off with Maqrius's break dance, but me and Khong were happily eating the buffet and chatting in the VIP room. It was only when it was the magician's (thanks to Solid Gold) performance that I went to watch. Soon it followed by juggling acts and lindyhop etc.

Bin and Mr. Fong watching the performances

To our dismay, it started pouring and man, did it look like a cyclone. Even the drains started overflowing and it scared the stallholders. Poor Bin was so frustrated with the late performers, and we had to shift everything indoors because the rain was splashing everyone at the void deck. So the unicycling team did their stunts, and the singers sang inside SAC.

Bin and I had a try on the unicycle, wah lau, it was scary. The team was encouraging though, they hoped to have more unicycling enthusiasts but unfortunately, we weren't very adept with it. Heh.

Finally in the evening, the event came to a close, and man, did I realise that we were grateful to many many people! The first person who deserves the most credit is Mr. Yap, he is ultra ultra resourceful and helpful to us. I am also thankful to the performers, who have voluntarily performed free-of-charge for us, the volunteers who have helped out like the hosts and the ushers, and our friends who took time out to drop by and visit (I was particularly amused by James's interesting research on the relationship between the colour of cupcake wrappers and the number of chocolate chips in them). Hee, thanks to Milo for the rides home and the help he has offered the days before. Bin and I were grateful to Tofu Girl too.

Then it was the family gathering at Fourth Aunt's house, and when I reached, everyone was there. It was the usual, eat and gamble. Wow, the fried prawn ball at the buffet was FANTASTIC! We played with Ah Mao (Fourth Aunt's pet cat) which was so timid and hid behind the sewing machine the whole night! Their pet turtle caused an indignant Ah Sir to fight for its right to be released into the wild. Ah Ping was a mad woman who wanted to feed Bobbi vodka. (At least I was more humane, I gave her some of the fried prawn balls ... No lah, Ah Sir! I was just kidding!) Henglip was a maggot who had nothing better to do than to draw moustaches for me and Ah Sir on our nice photo. Wee couldn't get over the fact that Bin knew what she did last summer. Someone bought a big pack of fortune cookies and man, did I love them! We also feasted on the Haagen Dazs ice-cream Ah Hoon bought.

Sigh, Ah Ping is a spoilsport. Our family gatherings have also come to a close ...

Fun doing shit job

Went SAC today to do the last acrylic casing for my contest, and then I realised the glue evaporated! Yikes! In the end, using clear scotch tape, which SUCKED. I mean, a nice clear box put together using scotch tape, you can see the ugly tape pieces!

Then transported it to West Mall to plant it there. Bin kept complaining it was FARGLY and empty, but what can we do? (read: SAC)

Then we had lunch at the MOS Burger there, while Bin kept herself busy on the phone and ignoring poor me! Then we made our way back to SAC to give out flyers door-to-door in the Clementi neighbourhood!

With all that climbing and walking, our legs were trembling loh! We were hot, sweaty and feeling asthmatic. It was a hella good workout, but we ended up with jelly legs.

Bin was so happy doing such a shitty work (but she looked cute here)!

Cam-whores

Baby was so naughty to tease a resident's cactus, because it looked like a *censored* complete with *censored*

After we ended, we were like slimy stinkballs and we trudged to Clementi Central to meet Milo. Haha, I am impressed with Milo's capability to pass bike Prac 1 in ONE try! Power!

Another Saturday ...

Sigh, another Saturday before our important event at SAC. Went for a gruelling discussion at my favourite Coffee Club Express at Wisma Atria with my group-mates.

Me and Bin!

Me with the headless bikini babes

Someone's sexy panties with cute prints of donkeys and carrots

After that went shopping with Ah Sir, who told me of a creepy story about Wee being pulled by an invisible hand while taking an afternoon nap. Keke. And I can't believe Ah Hao is attending the same church as Hao Ling. And we even joked about Henglip's inquisitive research on nightspots and housepours.

After that, we went to Tong Shui at Zion Road to have supper. It is a Hong Kong styled cafe by the roadside that serves desserts, toast and nice starters. The food is nice! I especially loved the chicken wings, too bad Ah Sir didn't want to eat them. And nice Honey Lemon Tea too. The prices there are good too. Haha, the television there was screening some porny movie starring Louis Koo and Eason Chan, freaking gross lah.

Heh, thanks Ah Sir for intro me this great hangout and thanks for the ride! See you next Saturday!

Fun with the turtles

Went with Bin to Clementi Central to have a cheap and yummy Jap meal, before making our way to SAC to work on our second display case.

My chicken cutlet donburi (looked ghastly)

The weather was fucked-up, it started pouring just as we were about to transport the case to Jurong Entertainment Centre. Someone was particularly stingy with us calling cab, hmmph.

Second display case up at Jurong Entertainment Centre

After that went to the Live Tortoise and Turtle Musuem at Chinese Garden! It was fun! It was a small musuem inside Chinese Garden showcasing both the common and the rare tortoises and turtles, and the entrance fee was just $5. Among which were the Chinese Orient Turtle (used in cooking soups), the Pig-Nosed Turtle, the Matamata (whose head looks like a dead leaf which allows it to camouflage), the Snake-necked Turtle (the name very much speaks for itself), the Sulcata (a freaking HUGE tortoise about 1m long but it is only the third largest in the world) etc etc etc. My personal favourite is the Alligator Snapping Turtle, its unique point is a vein on its tongue that looks like a fresh pink earthworm that WRIGGLES. So it will open its mouth, making unsuspecting fishes mistake that vein for a real earthworm and swim towards it and the turtle snaps its mouth (hence its namesake)! Wicked!

The Alligator Snapping Turtle when hungry (see the pink earthworm-like vein!)

The Alligator Snapping Turtle when full (stone away ...)

There is also a pond there infested with red-eared terrapins. As I walked towards it, they all paddled towards me, thinking that I have food for them. How smart. I was feeding them fish food pellets (bought at $1 per pack) happily until I realised that they were too busy paddling and staring at me to realise that I have already dropped their food into the water. And then HUGE catfishes emerged from nowhere and gulped down the pellets. Gross. What was grosser was two smart pigeons were staring at me and demanding to be fed too.

The keeper of the musuem is a kind man who has invested millions in setting up the musuem (and the pond, the tanks and the enclosures) for his tortoises and turtles (which is his hobby). He has leased the place from Chinese Garden so this musuem will be around for a year or two more, but it is undergoing the second phase of renovation, so expect to see more tortoises and turtles in a few months time!

While he was narrating his story, he brought us to an enclosure of Great Malaysian Turtles and handed me a few cucumbers and carrots to feed them. Man, there were at least 30 in there and each was about 80cm long! They sure aren't slow when it comes to feeding time. So I just held the cucumber near them and they would climb on top of another and craning their necks to get a bite. What an experience.

There were several grass tortoises roaming all over the grass, which kind of shocked me. I mean, what if I accidentally stepped on them or kicked them? But I certainly had fun kicking the terappins which were basking in the sun back into the pond. Keke.

Thanks Pfizer for the pain

Went for a health screening at Pfizer, to see if I can qualify as a healthy Pfizer Clinical Trial Volunteer. Sounds prestigious, but in other words: Pfizer Experimental Mouse.

They took the basics like height and weight, blood pressure, urine sample but the most ultimate was the drawing of blood. The nurse wasn't very professional in drawing my blood. I could feel the needle repeatedly going in and out of my skin and poking every single artery. I did not dare to look at what he was doing, and I just kept squealing, which wasn't very helpful because all the nurses started crowding around me and consoling me. I was like WTF, I ain't afraid of needles, the nurse just could not get it over with quickly! The result was three test-tubes of my precious blood and a painful arm.

Evil Wee was evil enough to hide from me the fact that during the experiment, they will draw 12 test-tubes of blood from me within a day! That means 12 painful ordeals, 12 holes on my arm (like those on the Hansaplast plaster) and a shrivelled dry me. I decided to give it a pass.

Boring Sunday

I am still drunken over last night's revelry. Sigh, today was a boring afternoon.

I helped Mum make 饭粿 (the 'triangular pinky kueh with glutinous rice as filling), spent the whole afternoon churning many of them out. They are for tonight's 拜神 and for tomorrow's feast at Ah Ma's house. All my aunties will be coming over tomorrow evening and EAT.

I hope they don't notice the little hot pink specks of nail polish in the kueh skin that chipped off from my fingernails while I was making the 飯粿.

My New Year Celebrations Day 7

Have been looking forward to this day like mad, because we went to 二姨's house to visit!

Went to have coffee at Coffee Club Xpress with Don, before going to 二 姨's house in AMK. Had a simple afternoon tea of curry bee hoon and 二姨's handmade 茶叶蛋. Then when everyone was more or less there, we all went to a nearby kopitiam to have a eight-course dinner, courtesy of 二婶.

Dinner was great with Wee and me up to some tomfoolery, with Ah Sir as the tissue dispenser, with me and Wee discussing about moving out to a Bishan apartment, with Ah Ping being super kaypoh and disapproving of me and Wee being Pfizer's guinea pigs, with me and Wee not getting enough of our drinks (Coke, Milo, Green Tea and our imaginary Vodka Lime and Lamborghini), and of course the food. As usual, 二婶 fondly remembers me as 新传媒记者, and even thinks Wei Bin looks like 洪俊扬. Super off. Stupid Wee made me dash past two cuties peeing at the urinal in the male toilet, super embarassing.

After dinner, it was back to 二姨's house for gambling. We played an assortment of Blackjack, sa-kee and see-kee. We played in the kitchen on a teeny-weeny table, so I could not have the chance of displaying my handicapped syndrome and irritate everyone.

We were so engrossed in gambling that when Ah Xian wanted to go to the toilet, 二姨 told her not to go to the toilet. Then Ah Xian said she needed to relieve herself, but 二姨 told her to tahan first, because gambling was more important. Then she gave one of the best philosophies I have ever heard in my life: 便可以每天小, 但是赌博不是天天都有的.

We gambled till 2am and we were still stuck at the little gambling table, always reassuring ourselves that this would be the last round, but it never ended. Ah Sir finally had some winnings of $2 for the day, but (no) thanks to us who forced her to be the dealer for the last three rounds, her winnings plunged to $-32. You should have seen her dishevelled hair and her hysterical shriek: "赌博是害人的!". Keke.

Oh sian, have to wait another two weeks for the next (and last) family gathering at 四姨's house ...